I am the manager of Dunder Mifflin (aka Great Brat)
More About Me:
What I think I do
What I really do
Qua-something
Qua
Quar
Quabo
Quabbity
Quabity Assuance
Creed Thought, May 17, 6:20 PM
Hey-o, everyone out there in SyberWorld. It's old Creed Bratton coming at your again, here from my perch as a Quality Assurance Manager at Dunder Mifflin paper. Just a few observations on the world around me.
What do you guys think is the best kind of car? To me, you can't beat motorcycles. They're small, and dangerous.
Sometimes when I'm sick, or feeling blue, I drink vinegar. I like all kinds: balsamic, vodka, orange juice, leaves.
Today in my office where I work as Director of Quality Assurance, we went to the beach for some reason that was never adequately explained. When we were there, our manager told us to eat hot coals. I thought that was a little bit untoward so I ate a fish. Then a woman I have literally never seen before in my entire life started talking very loudly about something involving Halpert. She was agitated, I'd say. Also, I stupidly ate the fishbones. I told myself "never again" after the last time, but then you turn around, and bam, they're in my mouth. I also ate 55 hot dogs in 15 minutes, which is a world record.
Reminder: Michael's safe combo: 26-32-20.
Creed Thought, May 24, 10:45 PM
The worst part about Raisin Bran is the bran. Hands down.
I saw a man fishing bottles out of a garbage can yesterday and it reminded me of a funny story.
I don't like hockey. They should get rid of the pucks and put those shoe blades on their sticks - then you'd have a game on your hands.
Reminder: Michael's safe combo: 26-22-30.
Creed Thought, May 31, 06:06 PM
There's a fat man that sits by me. He has some sort of jar of multi-colored power beans. I need those beans, man. The last thing I want to deal with at work is people.
I'm thinking about buying a horse. Great for transportation and once you're done with it, you've got about seven days worth of meals.
Reminder: Michael's safe combo: 20-22-36.
Creed Thought, June 07, 07:39 PM
Boxers or thiefs? Who wants to know?
You'd be surprised to know how many passports I've got.
Reminder: Michael's safe combo: 23-20-26
Creed Thought, June 14, 01:43 PM
So I've been thinking about running for Governor. There're a lot of things wrong with Pennsylvania and since nobody's answering my letters over at the Governor's Office in Philadelphia, I think it's time to take matters into my own hands. I know what you're thinking and yes, they are wrinkled, but they're still strong.
Number One on my list of changes: Pennsylvania should change its name to Transylvania. Lots of idiots buy all kinds of vampire rings and vampire necklaces and garlic-flavored vampire gum. There's a lot of dough to be made from these suckers and I'm tired of seeing it go to foreigners. If we change the name of the state, we can probably do away with property tax considering the amount of souvenirs we're going to sell. Also, vampire fans are notoriously good tippers.
Number Two: Cops' uniforms should be neon yellow. The get-ups they wear now make it too hard to see them coming at night and I'm tired of those jerks sneaking up on me. If I'm elected Governor, I want to make sure that people know where cops are at all times.
Number Three: Soup kitchens have to offer more variety. From what I've heard, they serve the same soup two, three times a week. People really get sick of mushroom barley all the time, you know?
Number Three and a Half: Mushroom Barley soup will be illegal across the state. Honestly, I don't think anyone's going to miss it.
Number Four: Increase funding to all public schools.
I've got a lot more ideas for making this state the best in the country and if you vote for me, I promise to listen to everything you have to say. Now, I know I haven't voted for the past fifty years, but I think that's going to give me a real leg up on the competition because they can't attack me for my voting record. Stick with me and we'll make some real changes to this stupid square state.
Vote Creed for Governor: "The Guy Who's Going to Make You Rich Off of People Who Believe in Vampires!"
